2010 Word of the Year: Expanding

Free Birding It vs. Organization

by rebecca on November 17, 2010

There was once a time when I was an organized person… that time has passed. Now I feel like I have more information, curiosity, ideas, responsibilities and pieces of paper swirling around me on any given day than I know what to do with, let alone put into some sort of orderly manner. Hence the slightly minor major overhaul I have been doing. The goal: to try, once and for all, to streamline the parts of my life that I can, and find an acceptable way to handle the parts that will always remain free from structure.

I haven’t been doing anything radical with this overhaul mind you, just simple things

~ read my email less often (3-4 times per day seems to be working well for me)
~ respond right away if I can so I have less reason (ahem, excuse) to go back on again
~ check twitter/fb only a few times each day, and not freak out when that means I miss something
~ and if I see things on twitter that look interesting I just ‘favorite’ them so I can go back and read them when I have time (ie. when I have my coffee in hand and am too sleepy in the am to be doing much other than reading stuff!)
~ I “trimmed” my blog reader back in the summer time when I went on a bit of a media diet, so now its a totally manageable read while I drink my first cup of morning coffee, and I rarely check it after that
~ actually planning things out in advance (like this blog post, and maybe even the next one!) so I don’t put it off because I feel unprepared
~ be sure to put FUN things on any To Do list that I make so I don’t feel utterly devoid of pleasure all day
~ I signed up for the USPS click n ship, HOLY MOLY is that a fabulous thing! No more trips to the PO!!
~ listen to good advice from people like this: craftypod, creativethursday, michael nobbs (this one might not seem in line with my “let’s get organized” idea, but it works for me), and susannahconway (per usual, the woman is brilliant!)

The main point of these steps isn’t to crush my free wheeling style of life, but make it so when things do mount up (and don’t they always) I have a system in place to help me handle it, instead of being crushed under the feeling of utter overwhelm that seems to have become my life lately. With any luck (and some serious behavioral therapy on my part :) ) I might be able to commit to these changes. Change, even change for the better, is not always easy for me. My brain’s pathways are dug as deep as the Grand Canyon people, so bear with me while I struggle to climb up to the rim, and strike out on a new, more organized path… Wish me luck, please. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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Honesty…Finally

by rebecca on November 4, 2010

So, I hate how often this blog sits, lonely and unloved. It’s like when you haven’t spoken to an old friend for a long time and then the length grows so long it feels uncomfortably awkward and that just makes you want to pick up the phone even less. Well, that’s how I feel right now. It shouldn’t be awkward to come here and to write about my life. Sheesh, I need to, since I stopped writing my morning pages (too much anxiety was building up while I was doing them about all the things I needed to get done each day and how they were holding me back, so I let them go. Maybe I’ll go back to them someday…I’d like to).

I watched a really awesome video by a brilliant woman yesterday that struck such a chord…I think that’s why I’m here today, instead of succumbing, once again, to the uncomfortable void. Brene Brown has been on the orbital edge of the blogs/people I follow online for some time and her book (now books!) have been on my list to pick up and read. Of course, that would mean I’d have to read the 3-3million other books already waiting for a slice of my attention, but still, I had good intentions. Well, she tweeted about this video yesterday, her TED talk (if you don’t know about TED, run, don’t walk to check them out: brilliant people sharing change-making ideas. I love them!) and I finally sat and watched it. She speaks about how the only way to truly and fully experience joy and happiness is to risk being vulnerable. I get that in theory, but the way she explained it all made me really see that being the consummate people pleaser that I am has honest to goodness been holding me back from feeling the good things in life with as much intensity as I deserve, and certainly with the same intensity that I think I feel the bad things. So, that brings me here. I try to play it fair, keep things relatively grey, not upset anyone when I write/express myself, but by doing that I am really only owning up to the simple/easy/middle of the road parts of myself, and I am FAR more colorful than that (trust me, ask my family). But to show those colors might irk some people, and turn others right away entirely. I see now though, that that’s just the risk I have to be willing to take. That to live on the edge of my own truth, and to bend it to the audience I think might be within earshot, is only living halfway, it’s only being partly honest and it certainly means I’m not making honest and deep connections. Those types of stronger connections are made in the frank, blunt, let-it-all-hang-out types of places inside ourselves, when they see the light of day, that is. So, its my hope that going forward I will not only share more here, but share more authentically. That’s why I started this space in the first place. So, to get the ball rolling, here are some things I think I tend to tread the safe-line on, let’s just blow this wide open. Here’s the honest me, take it, leave it, or love it, at least that’ll be real!

~ I’m a pretty liberal person (some who know me well might laugh at “pretty” and exchange it with “extremely”…whatevs :)
~ I’m a democrat and proudly support Barack Obama (read his first book, I think it might change your mind if you’re on the fence. The man can write!)
~ I tend to like animals more than people.
~ I  think that you should be able to believe whatever you want spiritually/religiously/philosophically as long as you don’t hurt anyone else.
~ I believe in karma, the universe, and that the most obvious sign of something bigger than ourselves is the  utter, incomparable beauty of mother nature
~  I believe selfishness and feeling entitled is the downfall or our society right now, and I am at a complete loss as to how this will change.
~ My favorite color is blue, exactly what shade changes from time to time, but navy has the strong pull right now.
~ I think I can be a bit of chickens**t when I should stick up for myself. I’m working on that.
~ I have genuine hope that the world is changing for the better, or at least can, if we all work together. Superman believed in the inherent goodness of man, I guess I do too.

I hope you are living your most authentic, honest, colorful life filled with the courage to be who you truly are, no matter what anyone else thinks.

cheers

rebecca

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Trust

by rebecca on October 15, 2010

I got these delicious cards out of the mail box a few moments ago. To me there are delicious not only for the wonderful messages they carry, or the loving way it was addressed to me by this most amazing woman, but also because “trust” is pretty much the thing I am most lacking today. Some days are harder than others, I guess, and this was just one of those days where it was a bit more difficult to have that full-on faith that everything will work out.

It’s helpful when you feel these doubts to acknowledge them, I think. Pushing them away just means they will be subtly under the surface of everything you do and robbing the better moments of your life of their full joyous potential. I like full-on joy, rather than almost joy, but that’s just me. With any luck tomorrow will be better and things will start to feel a bit more normal again. And at least if that doesn’t happen, if another day of doubt should greet me, I can pull out one of these magical little notes and feel like at least somewhere out there in the Universe someone has faith, even if for the moment I might not. Have a great weekend everyone!

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The Necklaces are here!

by rebecca on September 21, 2010

So, I had a whole other post in mind for today, but that will have to wait until tomorrow, because the seas have parted, time has stopped, and the stars have aligned in my favor once and for all…in other words, I finally listed my necklaces to my ETSY SHOP!!! I am so excited. So scared and naked feeling, but so excited. They are simple pieces, hardly the thing you’d think would cause such a commotion in a girl’s life, but any time you reveal what you think looks good, or what you have put your time into, as imperfect and flawed as it might be to other’s, that’s a heavy thing! But to me, they are perfect. I love how they are slightly off, my hand has never been the steadiest! But they contain so much concentration and such hope for making a positive impact on someone else. I have pieces that I love and wear and feel are infused with so much memory and emotion, I can only hope my pieces will come to carry such a weight for someone else.

Jewelry has been a part of my life since I was a child. I can even remember the case of the disappearing bird necklace… I was probably only 7 or 8 years old when my grandmother gave me a gold chain with a beautiful flying bird pendant (this was before I knew I only liked silver :) ). I loved it so much I went to sleep that night wearing it and was absolutely shattered when I awoke in the morning to find the chain broken in bed with me and the bird gone. Gone. For.ev.er. No matter how hard I looked I never saw it again. And I looked! I can remember for years afterwards whenever I would move the furniture around I would look, and when I eventually moved out of that room the memory of that lost bird still lingering. Thankfully many years after that same grandmother bought me a wonderful silver Kokopelli charm on a silver necklace and I still wear it to this day.

So, you see, jewelry is more than something shiny to wear, it can mean so much more. I truly want the pieces I make to put good ripples and vibrations out into the world. I want them to make someone smile, someone think, someone feel special. That’s why I’m making them, so I hope I succeed.

click here to see all the goodies in my shop, or check out the pics to the right on the sidebar! Thanks!

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Perfect Timing

by rebecca on July 22, 2010

There are so many awesome, inspiring blogs that I read and somehow it seems they always find a way to speak right to me, exactly when I need it most! Sure enough, this morning this blog spoke directly to what I was saying yesterday, and better still provides some great advice on how to fight the good fight! I feel better already, and I’m hoping this article helps you guys too! Enjoy!

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Yoga, Balance, & Poison Ivy

by rebecca on July 21, 2010

They all connect I swear!

I just spent the day writing this long, elaborate post about how they connect and it all makes perfect sense in my own mind, but I’m not sure it will to anyone else, so I am going to stew on that for a while. The really REALLY short version:

~ I have been feeling very out of balance lately.
~ So much so I even contracted poison ivy while clearing our new jungle yard, even though I had always been immune until now.
~ So I went to yoga yesterday to try to feel better, to bring some of the things I love and NEED back into my life while letting go of some bad things (too much time spent putting other peoples thoughts/ideas/photos/art/awesomeness etc. into my brain without giving it a chance to reply with any of its own, for one thing!)

I’m hoping this combo-attack will help me feel more in balance and more like myself. Fingers Crossed.

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Let Go

by rebecca on July 15, 2010

When I was a teenager and got filled up with all that teen-angst my mom developed a habit of telling me to “Let it go!”. It seemed like that phrase applied to just about everything that was upsetting me, so she said it often. And I mean OFTEN! Now as I find my way and deal with my own life I find I frequently remind myself to “Let go.” My own shorter version. It applies to equally as many situations as my mother’s original advice:

~ When things are clearly out of your hands, but you yearn for control: let go.
~ When you find you just cannot come to a meeting of the minds with someone else: let go.
~ When you are struggling to find meaning, purpose, balance, freedom… or just about anything that is far more likely to alight upon an open mind: let go.

Like I said, it’s a useful phrase. So, the other night when I headed over to this wonderful little jewelry store to learn how to hand stamp a metal necklace I had a pretty good idea what I was going to put on it. I don’t think it looks half bad for a first try. I will come back later to tell you guys more about how this little class and a bunch of the other things I am working on are hopefully going to be coming to life here on the blog, but for now I am off to search out some cool furniture for the new house with my mom. Wish us some consignment store luck!!

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Gone to The Dogs…

by rebecca on April 14, 2010

I can honestly say that I am as excited right now as I was about two years ago, maybe more-so, and for very nearly the same reason: photography. I am finally starting up the Dog Division of my business and it has me completely engrossed. I feel like I am jumping off a new cliff, only with a better, more colorful parachute. I have almost two years of photography business under my belt that is making this “start” so much easier than my last. And as much as the path feels easier it also feels so much more freeing. Shooting dogs feels entirely different to me than shooting kids. There are fewer rules, at least I think so. (I can acknowledge that any rules I might feel govern child photography are primarily in my head, but with the dogs, I just feel like I can enjoy even the mistakes a bit more.) The blurred furry bodies and the middle of the muzzle focus shots are less imperfect and more real to me. It’s a wonderful feeling. I have been conscious to not look at too many other dog photographer’s websites, not wanting to fall victim (again) to that yard stick that haunts me on my human shoots. I want to create great work, fun work, but most of all I want to create my work.

And by far the coolest aspect of this whole trippy trip is that at any given moment I have my basis for inspiration walking around my home (or laying as the case so often is, and is right at this moment). The new site will have a whole gallery, or even two, dedicated to these walking muses, and I can’t help but feel like their introduction to my life, their amazing patience with me, has been fated all along. It just had to come together at the right time, and that “right” time is hardly decided by me.

Here is one of the pups from my first portfolio session. The B man is big on energy, and big on love. He looks happy doesn’t he?

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Word for 2010…

by rebecca on March 26, 2010

I read about this tradition here and thought it sounded like something I would enjoy doing. My word for 2010: Expand.

I really feel like my life has gotten smaller in the last year, even though I have been pursuing my passion and building a business that I love. Somehow I narrowed my focus down so much that that was all I could see and I ended up feeling lost in the middle of it all. Now, I am not sure I have done the best job of “expanding” but I am trying, and that’s really the crux for me, putting effort where I never really do. I am the queen of having great intentions, I just need to learn to put my energy where I know it will serve me best, and often I fall short there.

So how has my life, my world, my view expanded so far this year? Well, I have made a few new photog friends. I know this might sound like I am still caught in my narrow focus of photography, but really the world I feel trapped by is one where I don’t have colleagues, so other photogs who “get it” really is a wonderful thing. We can relate to each other’s struggles and doubts, and share the cool stuff too. It has felt great so far and I hope to keep it up. I have had other business related expansions as well, and while they make me really happy and excited I don’t want to talk about them here.

I have been expanding my sense of health lately. I am reading some new and great publications and they are opening my brain up to the endless ways I can take better care of myself, this one and this one, in particular. Thanks to these reads and the warming weather I have been moving my body a bit more, walking with the pups, riding the bike around, stretching with intention. It feels good. As I change my movements I am trying to change my eating habits as well. Eating more often and eating better stuff, namely. I have a very sensitive blood sugar thing and I am working on getting it in check so I can have energy all day. Not an easy thing for me. Maybe its my age or something, but tho I start down this healthier path each year I am more determined this year, I think, to actually stick with it. Something has got to give.

More on my expansions as they happen I guess. Here are some photos from a walk I did with the pups. More to come…

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